My Fertility Store
Q&A
Search
Subscribe
FertilitySmarts - logo color

Fertility Health

Fertility Health

Fertility Blogger of the Month: Karen of Hilariously Infertile

/

This blogger and social media influencer needs no introduction. Heck, she's been in PEOPLE magazine. You've likely seen her on social media (she's definitely instafamous), but just who is she? Funny enough, we had the pleasure of running into Karen at a conference and are happy to inform you that she is every bit as funny, warm and smart as you have gathered from her online presence. We are big fans. For those new to Hilariously Infertile, her goal is simple. She's out to "help other women laugh their way through their treatment, while their feet are in the stirrups and their vaginas are enjoying the fresh fertility clinic air." Best news yet—If you can't get enough of her all-too-real funniness, check out her book Hilariously Infertile. This is what Karen had to say about blogging and running a super successful fertility-focused social media presence. Tell us about yourself I am a fourth-grade dual language (Spanish/English) outside New York City. I am married with two kids, the best dog ever, and an amazing husband. On the weekends I love to go horseback riding and go to Pilates and spend time with my family. View this post on Instagram My food baby grows and grows! A post shared by Hilariously Infertile (@hilariously_infertile) on Jul 25, 2018 at 9:59am PDT How did your experience with infertility start and how has the story unfolded? I had no idea that I was infertile. My husband and I started “trying," we were having unprotected sex and I wasn’t getting my periods for months at a time. So I went to my ob-gyn and she started me on Clomid. Nothing happened. Next month more Clomid. Nothing. She left me a voicemail on a Friday in December 2011, telling me that she thinks I have PCOS and that I should go to NYU Fertility. At NYU they confirmed the PCOS diagnosis and we did our first IUI. Nothing. Negative. We did our second IUI and that was positive. Then when my first daughter was 18 months old we started trying for our second. I did five rounds of Clomid and four IUIs because nothing happened on our first round of Clomid. After the fourth failed IUI we decided to go forward with IVF. We were very lucky and became pregnant on our first round of IVF. Why did you start blogging? I was helping a friend and a family member both through their cycles (separately) and I was telling my husband about their cycles and he suggested that I write a book. I laughed him off and thought, “I don’t even read books, why would I write one?” Then one day I just started writing and everything poured out of me. I didn’t know what it was at first, a book, a blog, a silly diary? I kept writing and five weeks later I had a complete first draft of the book, which is very close to the final product today. I thought I would get picked up by a publisher easily and when that didn’t happen I started the website and social media accounts. What's the story behind the name? OK. Long story short, I was watching The Today Show on the day that Matt Laurer accidentally said Savanna Guthrie’s work email on camera. I jumped at the opportunity and immediately emailed her about my book called, at the time, “Let’s Talk Fertility, Shall We?” It was a lame title. Anyway, that night after two glasses of wine I confessed what a crazy stalker I am to my husband and he was like, “Wow. OK.” And I said, “Oh whatever I am hilarious and I am infertile.” And then it just hit me, “HILARIOUSLY INFERTILE.” I really liked that sound of it and the oxymoron. What are three words that describe your blog /social spaces? Funny. Inappropriate. Infertility. What topic do you find yourself covering most often and why? What not to say to someone struggling with infertility. How to handle all the birth announcements and baby showers, etc. How to handle/react to dumb unsolicited advice. Who is your target reader/follower? I think the one thing all of my followers have in common is they need a laugh to get them through and I try to help give them that. What's unique about your blog/social spaces? My mission is to help people laugh. If they are having a good day, laugh. If they are having a bad day, laugh. If they are at their lowest, laugh and know you are not alone. If they are on the “other side” of infertility, they can laugh looking back at what they went through. What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it was popular with readers? On my blog, Chapter 4 on Morning Monitoring and Chapter 2 on "Trying" are the most popular. As far as social media, popular topics are anything about unsolicited advice or going crazy on the hormones. What is the best thing about writing about infertility? I know that I am helping people. I know that every day I am waking up, going to work, teaching, and also helping women all over the world get through one of the toughest times in their lives. The is a very amazing and very humbling feeling. View this post on Instagram Anyone else feel like the lines mess with you? A post shared by Hilariously Infertile (@hilariously_infertile) on Jul 23, 2018 at 5:28am PDT What is the worst thing? There are two difficult things, not worst things, just difficult. When my followers DM me (which I LOVE when they do!) and they share with me the hardest most unimaginable heart-wrenching stories. I love, love, love connecting with my followers, but those stories really weigh on me, which they should. The second this that is difficult are the instances that people have been upset about me having children. I am a very honest person and I really don’t hide things, so that is difficult.

Fertility Health

Podcaster of the Month: Natalie Silverman of The Fertility Podcast

/

With 100+ episodes under her belt, Natalie Silverman of the Fertility Podcast has built an impressive resource of fertility-related content. We are thrilled to feature her as our podcaster of the month from our list of Top Fertility Blogs. From her own experience, Natalie knows just how infertility can turn your life upside down. Her podcast brings together fertility experts, support groups, bloggers and people who have been through treatment, with the goal of helping to empower those trying to conceive. We like her show because she has some serious interviewing skills. It's easy to pick up on just how much she cares about both the topic and the guests she interviews. Bottom line: she packages together informative, interesting content in a professional way. This is what Natalie had to tell us about Podcasting about fertility. FS: Tell us about yourself NS: My name is Natalie Silverman, I’m a voiceover artist and podcaster. My background is in radio presenting having spend over a decade working all around the UK for Heart ( which is a commercial radio station ) as a presenter. I spent five years co-presenting a breakfast radio show and getting up at 4.30am which was fun, but I left to have my son. I was already making podcasts of sorts— making audio that I was sharing on SoundCloud and I was keen to make content that was useful to people, I just couldn’t decide on my topic. I knew audio was a powerful way to connect through, having spent over a decade building relationships with audiences on the radio. My hobbies are yoga, camping, seeing friends, going to music festivals and recently I’ve been getting much better at drinking whiskey, which I’m proud of myself for! FS: How did your experience with infertility start and how has the story unfolded? NS: My husband and I met in our mid 30’s ( well I was…he’s a bit younger ) and married when I was 34 and started trying pretty much straight away. By 36 I insisted on us having tests as my best friend had gone through IVF so I knew a bit about it, but I also knew time wasn’t on our side. We were told just on 23rd December 2013 that the ‘problem was with my husband’ who at the time was a personal trainer and health and fitness coach and in the best shape of his life. It was a real blow for him and for the pair of us and it ruined Christmas, but we stood together one New Year’s eve and raised a glass to ‘the plan’ for 2014. We were eligible for NHS funding for our treatment and were planning on going ahead. We had ICSI treatment in May 2014 and it worked the first time. Our journey was straightforward as far as our success with the treatment was concerned and our son Phoenix was born in March 2015. We also had three frozen embryos, but it had a big impact on our relationship. We struggled to find information or support for my husband about why his sperm wasn’t as he’d hoped, he shut down and didn’t want to talk about anything and visits to the clinic during treatment were always stressful. We looked online to find out what he could do to improve his sperm and he made a number of lifestyle changes such as stopping cycling, reducing any soy in his diet —and not having his phone in his pocket or his laptop on his lap and we both made a point of really looking after ourselves in the run up and during our treatment. But it really affected his confidence and I feel has had a long-lasting effect on him, to the point that he’s changed careers. We’re now at the stage where our son is 3 and we know how blessed we are, we have been dealing with secondary infertility. We’re not really in a position, financially to have further treatment and I’m now 41 and just getting my work life happening again and trying to get my head around whether our family is complete at 3. I’m currently looking at the support available for making these kinds of decisions regarding frozen embryos which I will be sharing along with what we decide to do. It’s hard. Infertility doesn’t go away, even when you’ve been so fortunate to have a child. FS: Why did you start podcasting? NS: Whilst looking for information to help us, my default was to look for audio content and I found American podcast along with some content from the BBC and The Guardian talking infertility, but not much so I decided to reach out to people whose books I had read on my journey and experts I had heard of asking them if they’d speak to me and they did. Since then I’ve continued to interview experts around the globe and people sharing their stories. FS: What are three words that describe your podcast? NS: Trustworthy, friendly and informative FS: What's the story behind the name? NS: Well, I wanted it to be obvious and I also didn’t want it to just be about infertility, so whilst it’s not the most inventive name I felt it worked. FS: What topic do you find yourself covering most often and why? NS: I guess I talk about fertility treatment a lot as there is so much to say on the matter. Whether it’s an expert talking about a certain condition they can treat, or a natural fertility expert talking about a programme they are running to help you get pregnant or it’s someone sharing their story — sadly so many of us are affected by infertility and having to have treatment there is a lot to say about it. FS: Who is your target listener? NS: Men and Women who want to know more about their fertility, it could be someone who has been trying and it’s taken a while or someone who has

Fertility Health

Blogger of the Month: Elisha Kearns of Waiting for Baby Bird

/

She’s interesting, she’s endearing and she should write cards for Hallmark. For all of these reasons, Elisha Kearns of Waiting for Baby Bird is our blogger of the month from our list of Top Fertility Blogs. Using the lens of her faith, her blog frequently takes deep dives into those all-the-feels moments of the infertility experience. You know those moments— the extreme highs and lows, the slow-motion moments where you ask yourself is this for real? For someone who admits that she “hates writing,” we think she’s pretty good at it. Elisha put some serious thought into our questions (we are amazed!) and we think you will be too. Here is what she had to say about her journey as an infertility blogger and the importance of balancing hope and heartbreak. FS: Tell us about yourself EK: My birth certificate calls me Elisha. My Daddyo calls me Punkin-Head. My friends have named me Wishwa. And my husband of 11 years? I wish he would call me something sweet and endearing, but he calls me Waladog. Regardless, I just don’t want anyone to call me late for a Sunday afternoon dinner of fried chicken with all of the fixins! Alongside my name and the all-important favorite food, you should also know that I am a 30 something gal living the small town life in rural Southern Illinois not only as a wife but also a stay-at-home Momma; because while my womb has remained empty, my arms have not. In July 2017 after spending 1,273 days in foster care, my husband and I were finally able to adopt Mikayla, who is now 7 years old and full of sass. I must also point out in this tell-me-all-the-things-about-yourself section that aside from being a terrible cook who forgets the clothes in the washer and a type A organizer who somehow often forgets to pack a school lunch box, I am also a Jesus follower who messes up daily in my walk with Him as well. But you know? It’s okay. Because we are all imperfect creatures living messing lives. But it’s in our mess I think we can still shine the light, which is what I try to do as a full-time faith-based infertility blogger and speaker. But when I am not rewashing clothes, running up to the school five minutes before lunch with a lunch box full of unhealthy foods, or pouring out my heart to others, you can also find me snuggled up on the couch with my two cats reading a good book. FS: How did your experience with infertility start and how has the story unfolded? EK: Weight gain. Excess sweating. Facial hair. Mood swings. Bloat. Irregular cycles. All of these were signs my body was changing in late 2006 and I couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t until 2007 while watching an episode on Oprah, in which special guest Dr. Oz was on discussing Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) that the dots started to connect. However because I wasn’t ready for children, and through diet and exercise I was able to maintain the symptoms, I didn’t seek an official diagnosis or treatment until 2010. It was then during that appointment I learned the severity of my situation. And it was also during that same appointment in which I was told that conception was going to be near impossible without the help of medical intervention. Leaving that appointment scared, yet hopeful, my husband and I did seek the advice and help of medical science in 2011. But after several failed medicated cycles of timed intercourse and one early miscarriage after becoming pregnant through the use of IVF, we have decided to no longer pursue the use of fertility doctors. Instead, we are focusing our time, energy and money on a more natural/holistic approach in order to balance my hormones. We are hopeful that through diet, exercise, and a medicine cabinet full of supplements, as well as by the grace of God, we will one day obtain the miracle pregnancy doctors have given me a 3% chance of ever having. But if I were honest, despite my strong faith at times, I waver. And how could it not? Because the diagnosis, the statistics and my historical record of not being able to sustain a healthy pregnancy does sometimes cause me concern. And it makes me feel discouraged. And when another month goes by without seeing those two precious pink lines, I can’t help but wonder if it’s worth even hoping for anymore. But when I choose to take my focus off my abilities (or lack thereof) and I make the effort to put them on God’s abilities instead, everything about my perspective towards my situation changes. Because while PCOS has a name, Jesus has a name too! And friends, His name is above all names. Therefore despite the doctor’s report, despite the odds stacked up against me, and despite what my past keeps screaming, I will never give up hope to believe that the desires He has planted in the soft fertile soil of my heart will no longer just grow in my heart, but also in my womb. FS: Why did you start blogging? EK: That’s a great question! Because the funny thing is…I hate writing! So it would seem odd that I would start a blog, right? Right. But it wasn’t my idea (trust me!), it was God’s. In July 2012 after I had experienced my early miscarriage after our first IVF treatment cycle, something began stirring within my heart to help those who were also struggling with infertility and miscarriage. I remember a certain moment while looking out of a window when I heard in my spirit three words: hope, blog, and healing. At the time I didn’t even know what a blog was let alone how to start one. But after some research and then putting it off, (like I mentioned earlier, I hated writing) I eventually bit the bullet in the fall of 2013 and

Fertility Health, oldposts

Reframing Male Infertility

/

Recognizing that you are dealing with male factor infertility brings up a host of challenging feelings and ideas for a couple trying to have a baby. Masculinity itself gets called into question, but shame, stigma, and a bunch of other unhelpful responses can be lessened if we can reframe this issue. Infertility &The Emasculation Factor There is a huge emasculation factor that can arise in response to discovering that your body is getting in the way of you and your partner’s dream of having a baby. Women, of course, feel this as well, but there is a different stigma for men due to how we’ve come to be socialized to understand our role and expected abilities. Why does infertility so viscerally strike at our sense of manhood and masculinity? Male Factor Infertility & Shame Shame is one of the first ugly feelings that pop up when a guy is told about his infertility. But why shame? Why does infertility so viscerally strike at our sense of manhood and masculinity? There are certain expectations that we grow up with and that, as men, we are not expected to question. You can laugh at most ‘phallic’ jokes, but they are such a common trope because (at the risk of sounding crude) too much of our identity as men are socialized to be one big phallic joke: be big, be strong, follow-through, get to the bottom of things, keep others happy, show no weakness, let others know who’s boss. In fact, impotence means both the inability of a man to sustain an erection as well as sterility. Two different issues with the same, highly stigmatized word (with the underlying feeling of ‘powerlessness’—is there anything less shame-inducing than that for the Westernized Male?) Read: How Men Can Talk About Their Needs During Infertility Ideas of Health Tend to Not Include Reproductive Health There is an expectation that this part of ourselves should just “work.” From early on, we are taught that our health is not to be taken for granted. We’re told as kids to limit our sugar intake and stay away from fatty foods. We’re constantly hearing about smoking, and drinking, and drug use. We’re given information and there is an ongoing focus on maintaining good health. We learn that we need to take care of ourselves so that our bodies will remain functioning as optimally as possible. We are told very little, as boys and young men, about preventative reproductive health (with the occasional warning against wearing underwear that’s too tight or eating too much soy.) Our potency is not something we tend to think about until it’s not working. And when the unexpected breaks down—when what we’ve just taken for granted stops working—panic sets in. When that has to do with sex—more panic. This can chip away at our already tenuous grounding in the insecurities of being a man. And that’s a long way to fall down. Read: What Men Should Know About Emotions & Infertility Destigmatize the Language The language of infertility doesn’t help much either. It’s amazing how much of the language around infertility in men has been euphemistically coopted toward shame. Think of the sit-coms that have used phrases such as “shooting blanks” and “slow swimmers,” but even the medical terms don’t sit well, such as “low motility” and “low sperm count.” (Actually, any time the word “low” is introduced to something that we’ve come to think of as Manly is a shame-inducing blow to our egos.) Medical terms have never simply been scientifically distancing (although don’t let this stop yourself from educating yourself about male infertility. These terms are important, but they may not be enough to undo the emotional resistance.) Saying a man has ‘high blood pressure’ or a ‘weak heart’ never simply meant a medical concern. It was almost universally a way of attacking how strong and, yes, virile he was. We know that bad cholesterol numbers and cancer cells say nothing about who we are as people, but we’ve always been able to bypass that logic. Other Health Conditions Don’t Hit at Manliness We know that bad cholesterol numbers and cancer cells say nothing about who we are as people, but we’ve always been able to bypass that logic and feel like our potency is being attacked when it comes to infertility; having a low sperm count means as little about who we are as men as our LDL numbers do. We need to collectively undo the idea that our medical conditions define the kind of men we are. We should reframe our approach so it is how we approach these conditions that are the signifiers about the men we want to be. Asking for Help Can Feel Like Inviting More Shame Let’s back up for a bit from all this penis talk and think a bit more generally. One of the core challenges of living in a society that values independence and individuality to such a great extent is that it is increasingly difficult (and, again, shameful) to ask for help. Add that to the long list of things that “Real Men” don’t do and the shame increases. We’re supposed to know how to do things. How to fix things. How to untangle all the problems by tinkering around and asserting more control over situations. It’s what’s worked for us before and it’s a core stereotype of men (think back to all the refusing-to-ask-for-directions jokes). We don’t like to do it, but I’ll wager that we have all, several times in our lives, had to take a breath and ask someone for help. That we’ve needed an expert opinion (who was not Google or YouTube, but a real person). We’ve gone to our parents, siblings, friends, partners—or just realized we needed to ask that stranger for advice. Yes, You Can Allow Yourself to be Vulnerable. You Can Even Practice it… So take a minute, close your eyes, and imagine a time you had to ask for help. When you had to expose

Fertility Health

Blogger of the Month: Jessica Jones of Infertility & Life

/

Our blogger of the month from our list of Top Infertility Blogs is Jessica Jones of Infertility and Life. Jessica writes about her experience with dual factor infertility. While pursuing multiple rounds of IVF, she is using her blog to wave the infertility flag and let people know that it’s OK to struggle to conceive, it’s OK to desperately want a baby, and it’s definitely OK to talk about it. We can get behind that! On top of her own blog, she’s had a number of infertility-related articles published on other sites. (Including FertilitySmarts! Check out some of her work.) This is what she has to say on the topic of blogging about infertility. FS: Tell us about yourself JJ: I have worked for my local council for over a decade now, in the Waste Management section. I am now working part-time, which means that the other half of my week I dedicate to writing and raising awareness of infertility issues. I am a volunteer for Fertility Network UK and I run a closed facebook support group in my area, which is really rewarding. My passions lie in writing now and I would like to be a full-time writer/blogger/author. I also salsa dance with my husband, which we really enjoy. FS: How did your experience with infertility start and how has the story unfolded? JJ: It began 18 months after we were married and despite being sure about my timings, we hadn’t conceived. Our initial diagnosis was fairly quick because they found my husbands seamen to contain no sperm (Azoospermia). Genetic tests revealed that he has a very mild version of cystic fibrosis which has led to an absence of his Vas Deferens. This means that the tubes which normally take the sperm outside of the body don’t exist in him, they never grew. We were told he could have a surgical sperm retrieval and then IVF, it all sounded so simple. However, we then discovered that my ovarian reserve isn’t great, my egg quality is poor and I don’t react very well to some of the drugs. I have low absorption rates and poor blood flow to my ovaries. This has meant that it has been—and still is —quite a battle, FS: Why did you start blogging? JJ: We did our first two cycles in relative secrecy and after the second fail I just couldn’t cope. I couldn’t keep up the lies and remember what to say and so my husband and I discussed telling people. I’ve always enjoyed writing and had been writing privately, so I spoke with him about the idea of starting a blog. I really felt it was the right path for me and luckily he agreed. My blog is not anonymous because I wanted it to be completely open; I felt this was important to show others that we don’t have to hide. FS: What are three words that describe your blog? JJ: Raw, honest, informative FS: What’s the story behind the name? JJ: At the same time as we were dealing with infertility, my brother had been killed in a car crash and we were coping with everything related to that as well. I suspected that some of it might end up being covered in the blog too, so while I wanted it to be infertility-related, I also wanted it to be wide enough that I could write about other things which may or may not be attached. That’s why I chose Infertility and Life – because it’s about both infertility…and life. FS: What topic do you find yourself covering most often and why? JJ: Definitely all things infertility and IVF related. When I’m in a treatment cycle, I write about the actual cycle live, as we go through it. In between these times, I write about anything that has come to my attention, whether it be in the media or a conversation I’ve had with someone, or something that’s in my life, an anniversary for example. The starting point can be anything and then I just go with the flow. FS: Who is your target reader? JJ: Anyone! I began the blog really to tell all our friends and family about what we were going through and to give them an idea of what is involved. Now I think I have a good mix of people, some who’ve never known anything about infertility and those going through it themselves, which is wonderful because we can then all support each other. FS: What’s unique about your blog? JJ: I do try to address what I think are important topics and try to show non-infertility people what IVF warriors go through and deal with. I don’t sugar-coat anything, I say it how it is and hopefully, people appreciate that. FS: What was your most popular post ever? Why do you think it was popular with readers? JJ: The result of our treatment cycle 3. It was the first time I was writing live through the treatment and I guess everyone was so hopeful for a positive outcome. People were hugely disappointed for us. FS: What is the best thing about writing about infertility? JJ: The support you get from everywhere. Each time someone likes, or comments, or shares my posts, it’s another moment of support that keeps me strong and gives me the power to keep going. The comments that I receive not just about raising awareness of infertility but also about how good my writing is, are all amazing and so gratefully received. FS: What is the worst thing? JJ: Having to write another post to tell people that a cycle has failed. Those ones are hard. But I consciously chose to do it that way because then it’s real for people and they understand the highs and crashing lows. FS: What’s the best tip you have to offer someone struggling with fertility issues? JJ: Find your tribe. Find a support network of people who have been through and are going through

Fertility Health

Fertility Blogger of the Month: Valerie of Eggsperience

/

Our blogger of the month from our list of Top Fertility Blogs is Valerie Landis, who is both a blogger at Eggsperience.com and podcaster with Eggology Club. Valerie's focus is to provide a realistic and modern point of view on the topic of egg freezing. As a birthday gift to herself, she crossed egg freezing of her bucket list, not once – but twice. After going through the procedure, she knew just what kind of information she would want to have known and set off blogging and podcasting about her experiences. We like how passionate Valerie is about fertility preservation and think that the egg freezing testimonials on her site are worth a read for anyone considering the procedure. FS: Tell us about yourself VL: My name is Valerie Landis. I am a single woman in my mid-30s on this journey to find love and create a family. Along the journey, I choose to pursue egg freezing to help maximize my biological clock and extend my fertility years. I work in the medical field and enjoy music, good food, and the great company of friends or family. I was raised on the East coast, but after college settled in the midwest to live in Chicago. I am a lover of people and building meaningful relationships or helping others brings me great joy. I work in the fertility, oncology, and women's health industry which has made me feel so fortunate to have the educational knowledge I learn at work. I feel that it is only the right thing to give back that knowledge to others who might benefit from the information. FS: How did your interest in egg freezing start? VL: I feel like I've always known about egg freezing because of my day job in medical sales. I have worked in the women's healthcare field for over a decade, but it wasn't until I choose egg freezing for myself that I thought about encouraging others to learn about the technology. After experiencing egg freezing and becoming a patient myself, I was inspired to share my experience with others. I hoped to provide a realistic and modern point of view of why I felt so positively about taking action to freeze my eggs. FS: Why did you start blogging/podcasting? VL: I started the educational website Eggsperience.com with the goals of helping others learn more about egg freezing technology, to provide a one-stop shop of information about egg freezing, and to give women a platform to tell their stories of why they made their decisions about family planning or journey to parenthood. I wanted to build a safe, unbiased, transparent place to learn about cryopreservation that I wish I had had before undergoing the procedure. I started the Eggology Club podcast to reach a larger demographic of people and to allow the content I was already creating, to be consumed in another way. The Eggology Club podcast is an extension of the website in an audio format. Eggology Club is also a community of women or tribe of like-minded individuals who want to bridge the gap between online community and in-person relationships with those who share the same vision of parenthood. It has been awesome watching the community grow and relationships with women in similar areas of the country to meet and spend time together because of our common desire to one day become a parent. Together we are keeping each other accountable and encouraging one another to reach our goals. FS: What are three words that describe your blog/podcast? VL: Three words or phrases more specifically, that describe what the Eggsperience.com website and Eggology Club podcast are all about would be: Empowerment to make bold choices for yourself Encouragement with other women’s uplifting stories Educating through fact-based information to navigate the fertility system FS: What's the story behind the name? VL: I decided to name the website Eggsperience because of the mission to tell a collection of other women's experiences with egg freezing in mind it made sense to add "eggs" to the word experience. Eggology Club was named that for the podcast to be a way to define and demystify a new set of terminology and language while also encouraging a sense of community and a club for women to be part of and meet other women just like themselves. FS: What topic do you find yourself covering most often and why? VL: The topics most often covered include how one feels during the hormone treatments and medications to the emotional aspects of the choice itself. I think that these fears are most common when first exploring the topic of egg freezing. We are concerned and curious about how the hormones will physically make us feel, while similarly thinking about the emotional aspects of what choices lead us to this point to have medical intervention be part of our family planning dynamics. However, I always like to point out to women that choosing to egg freeze is the easy part. Trying to get pregnant is much harder both from an emotional and physical perspective. Also, egg freezing can offer extraordinary benefits to women down the road, including being their own egg donor and not having to deal with emotional components of the biology of having a child. FS: Who is your target reader/listener? VL: The key target market for listeners and readers are typically younger women in 20s and 30s. However, the information can apply to women at any childbearing age. Ideally, I want to educate the audience at younger ages (such as 20s) to help them become aware of these choices, decisions, and knowledge to take advantage of these options when they are older (such as 30s) for the maximized results and benefits. FS: What's unique about your blog/podcast? VL: The unique thing about both Eggsperience and Eggology Club is that these stories are real, raw, and being shared with the intention to help others. All of the content, stories, and articles are patient-focused. But I am able

Fertility Health

Fertility Blogger of the Month: Jennie of The Uterus Monologues

/

We are thrilled to have Jennie of The Uterus Monologues as our blogger of the month from our list of Top Infertility Blogs. She focuses on her experience with recurrent pregnancy loss and what she has found in the process. We were drawn to her blog because her writing is superb and full of those moments where you find yourself pausing to think ahh…that’s so true. She also tackles angles of pregnancy loss that we hadn’t read about before. All said, her blog is simply a great read. This is what she had to say about blogging on the topic of pregnancy loss. FS: Tell us about yourself My name’s Jennie, I’m 31, and I’m a journalist. I’m the deputy editor of the health section of a national newspaper, so before I started my blog I was used to writing other people’s stories. I never really expected to end up writing my own in such detail. I’m a words person, it’s fair to say, I write and edit for a living and would spend most of my spare time with my nose buried in a book, if I possibly could. I live just outside London, I like to run (outside, never on a treadmill – that just feels like a slow kind of death to me) and bake. I am hopelessly devoted to my three cats, Shearer, Saga and Birgitte, who must be in the running for the most Instagrammed cats in Britain… FS: How did your experience with infertility start and how has the story unfolded? My experience is with miscarriage and repeated pregnancy loss, rather than infertility – though I think there is a natural empathy between women who miscarry and women who struggle to conceive. While I consider myself incredibly lucky to have been pregnant, and to know that it is at least theoretically possible for me, the net result of both issues is that you find yourself without a much longed-for child. Our story starts about two years ago, when my husband and I decided the time was right to start trying for a baby. It took around seven months for us to conceive initially, and I’d been surprised by how hard I’d found that limbo period to deal with. I knew rationally that we were well within what is considered medically ‘normal’, but it felt like all I ever heard were other people’s pregnancy announcements, usually coupled with unhelpful comments along the lines of ‘oh it was our first cycle/ we weren’t even trying’. Seeing that second line on a pregnancy test for the first time, I was beyond relieved. And naively I assumed that was it, we’d made it. When we lost that baby a few days before our 12-week scan – I was so shocked; shocked by the violence of the physical process of miscarrying, but also by the depth of my own grief. In the year since that first loss, we’ve had two further miscarriages and embarked on testing at a recurrent miscarriage clinic. I was so shocked; shocked by the violence of the physical process of miscarrying, but also by the depth of my own grief. FS: Why did you start blogging? It was a compulsion, really. I felt I desperately needed an outlet to write about what was happening to us. In the aftermath of a miscarriage – even after two or three – you are told repeatedly how common it is. One in four. One in five. ‘It’s just one of those things. It happens a lot.’ I think most people know about miscarriage in a theoretical sense; they know it happens. But what’s missing from the conversation is a real understanding of how it happens, what it’s really like, who it happens to and the effect it has on them. I wrote about the first miscarriage for my newspaper, so it was never exactly a secret. But I set up the blog a little while after that article appeared, when our second pregnancy failed. At that point, I didn’t actually intend to actively promote it. I thought I’d keep it basically anonymous, just a space for me to write down whatever I was feeling at the time, almost like a diary. I thought maybe one or two people would read it if they happened to stumble across it on Google, but I didn’t intend to tell people I knew or put it out on social media. Then around the time we should have been announcing our second pregnancy – a month after our second miscarriage – I shared the blog on my Instagram account. Something inside me snapped, I didn’t want to keep quiet about the second loss. I didn’t see why I should. I really wanted people to know, and to understand how it feels. FS: What are three words that describe your blog? Honest, wholehearted, wordy! (Mine is not the site you come to for listicles, memes, and beautiful lifestyle shots, I’m afraid. I like a good read, something a bit more long-form I can get my teeth into, so that’s what I try to offer). FS: What’s the story behind the name? It’s a riff on The Vagina Monologues, which is an incredible play by Eve Ensler based on interviews with women about sex, sexual violence, pubic hair, periods… If you haven’t read it/seen it, you should as it’s a classic. It’s intensely personal and political and still feels depressingly relevant when you consider it is 20 years old. I’m by no means trying to put myself in the same league as that, but I figured I’d be writing about my uterus and I tend to go on a lot… so monologues seemed like the right word! FS: What topic do you find yourself covering most often and why? I try to pick a different aspect of pregnancy loss/miscarriage with each post – things that mainstream pieces on miscarriage simply don’t have time to turn their attention to, such as body image after miscarriage;

Fertility Health

12 Things I Wish I Had Known As An Infertility Newbie

/

When working with people experiencing infertility, one of the ways I feel that I feel that I can be the most helpful is to try to prepare them for what’s coming. I always think back to my journey and how unprepared I was. There were a lot of what I now know to be common experiences that caught me totally off guard. In reality, there is no way to be completely in the know when it comes to infertility, but I do wish that I would have known certain things to feel like I had even a little bit more control over the process. Here are 12 things I wish I had known when I was first diagnosed with infertility. 1. You’re Going To Have Doubts. You’ve finally got to the point where your treatment plan has been set, and you have a plan of attack—except for that uneasy feeling. And this is OK. It is normal to have doubts, and it’s completely normal to question your doctor. Question everything. Will intrauterine insemination (IUI) really work? Is taking Clomid for six months worth your time? There will likely be some level of uncertainty when the plan has no guarantees, and the desired outcome is everything to you. Action your doubts. Make a list of your questions and stay in contact with your doctor. 2. There Will Be Physical Pain—Unfortunately. Let’s be honest; so many of those diagnostic tests can hurt. It’s not fun having dye injected through your fallopian tubes (hello, HSG); or undergoing an ultrasound through your vagina, and after all that, you may be subjected to giving yourself injections of medication. Focus on the end goal and chug through the pain. It can be done! 3. You May Gain Weight—And Not Because You’re Pregnant. Many fertility medications can make you bloat and gain weight. Not to mention the exercise restrictions you might have imposed by your doctor while actively in a treatment cycle like IUI and in vitro fertilization (IVF) to protect your stimulated ovaries. Plus, if you tend to be an emotional eater (like I am), the weight can pile on while you worry and obsess month after month. Take it easy on yourself, but don’t underestimate the value of gentle exercise and eating right not only for weight management but also for stress relief and overall health. 4. IVF Can Be An All-Consuming Time Commitment. For two years, I juggled my full-time job while undergoing three cycles of IVF and a frozen donor egg cycle, the latter of which involved extensive traveling. Some treatments aren’t as involved, and some, such as IVF, can easily take over your schedule with monitoring appointments, procedures, and phone calls, all likely requiring you to take time off work. Sometimes you live, work, and breathe infertility—and that’s a full-time job. I can’t stress this enough: keep a calendar. 5. You’ll Do Crazy Things Because It “Just Might Work.” I once stood on my head after sex because I read that gravity can help bring the sperm to the egg. I’ve drowned in raspberry tea and pineapple core, hoping it would help my embryos implant after IVF transfers. Some women change up their entire diet hoping that they’ll get pregnant because of a certain food they’re no longer consuming. We are willing to do just about anything, no matter how ridiculous, because someone out there claimed it worked for them. Decide what you think will be helpful, and don’t fall into the “what if” game. It’s just another way to wear yourself thin. 6. You Might Need To Be Open To Taking Breaks. It might seem easiest to plunge right into treatment after treatment so that this whole experience can be over with sooner, but taking time to regroup between cycles and letting your body and mind heal can be a huge stress reliever. Making sure to take care of yourself helps keep you in the game and helps you avoid infertility-related burnout. It is possible to dig in too deep when it comes to treatments, and rebounding might take more time than pacing yourself appropriately to start with. 7. Plan To Minimize Issues With Intimacy. Sex=fun and sex=baby, right? But when you need to be intimate on a timed schedule dictated by a medical team, most of us start finding sex to be a chore—something to check off a list and something to start even dreading depending on where you are in your infertility journey. And this isn’t just about the female partner, either. Communication is key and purposely deciding how to keep an intimate connection is a conversation worth having upfront. Try to even have non-baby-making sex every once in a while. 8. Infertility Changes What You Thought You Knew About Yourself. You’ll never be able to give yourself an injection? IVF isn’t for you? Sometimes you’ll be surprised at what you thought you’d never be able to do, but then you find yourself doing it anyway. Pursuing infertility treatments may show you just how far you’ll go to bring your child into the world. It may even bring out shocking emotions you weren’t prepared for, like anger, jealousy, or extreme sadness. Don’t think it’s possible to be jealous of a pregnant friend? Infertility might have something to say about that. You will likely be introduced to a side of you that you didn’t think was possible both in terms of your resiliency and perhaps an emotional side triggered by ongoing hurt. 9. You And Your Partner Aren’t The Only Ones Hurting. Infertility affects more than just you and your significant other. Yes, it is your journey, but there are likely other people who feel deeply entwined with your struggle and want the best for you. There are siblings you may want to make aunts and uncles, and parents who you wish could be grandparents; how strongly you can hurt on behalf of other people can be surprising. It can be hard to see other people in pain but

Scroll to Top